Scientists are saying if 80% of people wore a mask when outside the home we could stop the spread of Covid 19, but despite this the majority of Americans aren't doing it.

Most of the negative feedback I've heard people give regarding masks is that wearing them makes them feel funny or embarassed. It reminds me of this amazing Pete Holmes sketch where Professor X fires Cyclops because instead of bolting some kind of visor to his face to keep his laser eyes from murdering everyone in front of him, he instead props up a pair of casual sunglasses to keep from “looking like a dork.”

However, a second, more valid reason I've seen people give masks grief is that they're uncomfortable. If you feel that way I'd recommend spending a bit of money to buy a decent one.

A month or so back when the CDC was like “whoopsies, turns out masks are good everyone please wear one now” I bought a dozen of them from Custom Ink for $30. This was back when people were like “just make one with an old sock and some bubble gum, it's so easy!” so I figured how bad could 12 masks be even if they were $30?

The answer terrible. These masks scrunched up to the height of a pencil when not in use, and to expand we had to roll them back and forth over our face (you know, the area you'renever supposed to touch?). Afterwards the masks clung to our mouths, making breathing through them almost impossible. Additionally because they were basically just ripped up t-shirts with holes sloppily cut in them for ears the fit was never tight, and they'd inevitably slip off my nose (you ever see idiots walking around with masks that aren't covering their noses? That's how that happens).

The masks were so bad as to be unusable, and we actually threw them in the trash after a week.

While I was waiting for the crappy masks to arrive, a buddy of mine commended me on saving money as his wife had bought fancy “expensive” masks that costs $15 each. Ironically after I learned Custom Ink had used the pandemic to sell my family garbage I ended up rushing to buy several of these “boutique” masks.

They're from a place called Malu Organic, so if you're the kind of guy that nervously observes your pecs for days after you accidentally sip a soy latte that might bother you. But they're as comfortable as a mask can be.

Most Saturdays I wear mine for hours while I do lawn work outside. Some people say masks make you look threatening, but I've never had any of my neighbors say anything at all to me when I wear mine:

There's also a pocket so you can put a filter inside. I stick a coffee filter in there ala Matthew McConaughey, which is a fun superstitious thing to do which probably doesn't add any protection at all.

Anyway, I recommend spending a few extra bucks and buying some masks from Malu Organic if what you're dealing with now sucks.